Thursday, January 13, 2011

The 2011 Hernandez Model

The 2011 Hernandez Model!  That's right, the 2011 Hernandez is here!  We have one in stock, so you can wait your fucking turn!  Need someone to perform three jobs at once?  Try the 2011 Hernandez, he's just like a fucking Transformer!  Construction administration?  CHECK!  Office management?  CHECK!  Reception and its associated menial, time-draining tasks?  CHECK!  Push the button on his back, and he mutters swear words under his breath, including such favorites as, "Put your fucking dishes in the goddamn dishwasher" and "Oh, what the fuck is it now?".  Comes with optional accessories: disgruntlement, black humor, and Seahawks hat!  (serial commas not included) WHY PAY MORE WHEN YOU CAN HAVE A 2011 HERNANDEZ?!!!

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