Thursday, January 21, 2010

Wipe Warmer

LAUREN: The wipe warmer came to my attention after I went to a baby shower for a friend (who apparently had registered for it), which was really freaky because I didn't think any of my friends were allowed to have kids yet.  I mean, I got married, but the baby shower was real: oh my god we are grown up moments.  Anyway, I joked with another one of my friends that I would get her a wipe warmer, because she said she wanted one, I think I might actually get it.  It would be hilarious to open up during a party.
Ian also thought it was a good idea, and started once again to tell me about his poop, which I have told him I do not want to hear about ever.  Thank goodness he does the dishes and laundry or I don't know what I would do.  Word of advice to most people:  I do not like hearing about poo.  I do not like to talk about it.  My poo is private, the way poo should be.

IAN: Do you enjoy taking a shit?  Hell and Yes, so do I.  And if there's one thing that makes the difference between monumental defecation and a scared little poop job in the AM/PM bathroom, it's Quality Of TP.  Now, I work in an office where we all have to concern ourselves with being "green", to the extent that our toilet paper feels like a wire brush wrapped in sandpaper.  I've sprung for the Cottonelle, and I've even tried out a bidet, but I don't think that anything will feel as good on my ass as a warmed baby wipe.  Now, keep in mind, I've yet to try this invention, but just on a conceptual level I don't see how it could fail.

LAUREN: I see I will have to buy two.

1 comment:

  1. Coming from a mother of 2 and a wipe aficionado....I don't like it. I feel its a waste of money. (Lauren cover your ears) I eat lots of hot sauce therefore my bottom is usually burning at the end of a meeting with the commode. What I want is a fresh cool wipe to put an end to the flaming anus. As for the babies, I don't think that we should start spoiling them with warm wipes. It's a hard life and the wipes are cold, get used to it.

    Tia Lorena